I just want to say, I think you are pretty amazing. I mean, you have grown four human beings. That is mind-blowing. You navigate life with those four little humans with (most of the time, anyway) a great deal of patience and with a fierce love. Can I tell you something? Those are not dependent upon the size of your pants, or some number on the scale.
I get it. You want to feel better - and that is a noble and good thing. Just don't let your pursuit of a healthier life get in the way of the life you have now. Stop feeling guilty at all that you aren't doing. Just stop it. Look at what you are in the middle of? A huge move. Packing up your family life, and transporting it to somewhere new. It's OKAY that you aren't doing all the things, you know.
I guess what I'm saying to you is that you are doing okay. I love you, I think you're amazing, and when we get to our new place, and the dust is beginning to settle, we will climb this mountain, and you know what? We aren't doing it alone. God is with us. Always. He doesn't abandon us because we're a size 16, or because the scale is just plain nasty. He is ALWAYS there, and He will fight for us, when our strength and determination fail. Because they will, you know. And it's okay. Just don't get stuck there.