Saturday, January 3, 2015

Insights for a Sunday Afternoon

Today has NOT gone according to any plan I had in place. While brushing one of my children's hair, I discovered a lot of nits. Go ahead, shudder in revulsion - I won't judge. 

We didn't make it to church. Or the shops after church, to replenish my salad supplies, or get the ingredients for the healthy dinner. I have been consumed with de-lousing activity. Two children down, and one to go. Plus myself, because even though it might be in my head (pun not intended), I feel things crawling on my scalp. 

Lice aside, I realised something quite important. I tend to eat my emotions. Or at least I used to, and I'm trying to stop doing that. Which is very difficult, when you're constantly bombarded by plans gone south, angry/tired/hungry children, both of which bring on so many EMOTIONS!!!!

I just had a moment with one of my children, and all I want to do right now is to go to the shop, buy the biggest bag of potato chips I can find, a massive bottle of Coca-Cola, and just eat until the pounding brain goes away because I can't figure out what else to do. I'm not sure if it's the running away, or the eating which my brain thinks will do the trick.

The other insight is that thinking about food all the time, even for someone who loves food, is exhausting. I am alimentarily burned out. Which would typically be the point at which I give up because I can't think about anything else in this overcrowded brain of mine. Becoming aware of this is kind of helpful, because it means that I can try to push through the stubborn "Oh for the LOVE I don't want to make DECISIONS about food anymore" which leads to eating food that isn't entirely helpful if you're trying to lose weight. 

Basically, this:

I had a good week.

This was just a rough morning, followed by a 'moment'.

This week will still be good.

I will not give up on trying to eat a balanced diet.

I have not failed because life handed me head lice and my day has gone wonky.

In fact, by recognising that I want to eat myself stupid in response to stress, and choosing to not do that, I have succeeded. 

XO, Sarah

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